Jenna's Bada$$ Blog

Eat your <3 out biatches ;)

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Crazy in Luv<3

I'm just going to get straight to the point...

Last night my boyfriend of 5 months said he was in love with me.

My views on being "in love"...

I only want to be in love once. I could LOVE hundreds of boys and men throughout my life but I only want to be "in love" just once. And be with that person for the rest of my life. All the stats on divorce and how many married men cheat and all that scares me! I dont want to be another statistic! I don't want to let myself fall in love easily because I dont want to cheat myself out of that feeling...knowing that your IN LOVE with the one and only person you want to be with forever. When I get married someday I want to marry the one and only man I've ever been IN LOVE with and be able to look him in his eyes and honestly say (*in my Kip voice) "I'm 110% sure your my soulmate." Don't get me wrong I love Josh (my bf) I really really do. But I'm scared to fall in love with him or admit if I am. I'm young and have all my life to fall in love. But what if its my time now? What if he is the man I want to marry? Ok girls, I know all of us do this when we date new guys, and dont even deny it because we all do it. We all picture what it would be like marrying the guy we're with. We think about walking down the aisle towards him and having kids and a house...we do it, don't lie to yourself! I've thought about marrying Josh and yes, in a few years if we're still together then we'll know its meant to be and i will marry him. But if we do that with all the guys we date, how do we know that the man we're going to marry is the one? What if we're close to finding the one but we picked the wrong one a little too soon? Does that mean that we're doomed with this person for the rest of our lives or until divorce is in the picture?

Things are really good with us and he's the only real relationship I've ever had. He treats me with respect and knows that I'm going to do my own thing every once in a while and I do the same for him. He goes out with his boys sometimes and sure I'm jealous and want to be with him, but thats normal. I just feel like sometimes I'm on my toes with him...its like I love him so much that I dont want to make him mad, so sometimes I wont tell him how I really feel to keep us out of a fight that I know will happen. Dont think that Im a people pleaser or anything, I just want to avoid a fight or arguement if I can. Don't get me wrong if he's doin something to piss me off I'll fuckin let him know it, but if its something stupid that will blow up for nothing, then of course i'm going to keep my mouth shut. Just think of it as I love him so much I overlook the bullshit that could keep us apart.

more later, <3jj


At 11:47 AM, Blogger Bethany said...

Oh my little Jenna...
Its really hard to tell weather or not your truly in love with someone. It's really a big deal. I agree with you when you said you only want to marry the guy you've been in love with. So your question now is.. Am I in love with Josh? Is he the one I want to be with?
My opinion: You dont need to be breaking this all down yet..
You haven't really been with him THAT long. Give it time, and things will work themselves out. I know this is cliche but, I honestly believe whatever happens is how it is supposed to be, so stop worrying about all the "what ifs". I LOVE YOU HUNNY!

At 10:27 AM, Blogger Jenna said...

Thankyou my bet-o-ney. You know, for me...its hard not having you around for shit like this. Not only do i want the opinion from my friends, but most importantly you, my best friend. And you living 700 fucking miles away does not help. Lets just both up and move to somewhere totally random and you can work at a bar and i'll be a waitress and sell bracelets. Let me know your thoughts.

I love you!

At 4:39 PM, Blogger Sarah Jane said...

Hi Jenna!

First of all, have you ever been in love before?? Sounds like no. I heard a good quote once that said "Women are in love with a mate only once, after that they
are just in love with love." This has applied to my life. I've only been in love for real once, and the others I've loved since then weren't that same feeling, but I still enjoyed the emotion of love.

I hope that made sense.

Read the quote again.
You pointed out the complexity of human emotion, though. I am also pretty young and my theory of the first love being the best could come crashing down if I meet someone and fall in "better" or "stronger" love. Emotions are a bitch and can trick you.

That probably didn't help at all but that quote has some truth. Have fun with Josh and love him for now at least because I can tell you do. Life's too short to fret over shit, if your comfortable now, be comforatble and loved now and deal with the details only if absolutely necissary (a marriaged proposal or something would require action, but you're not there yet!)

This is like 80K so I'll be done now, damn!


At 4:40 PM, Blogger Sarah Jane said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 9:46 AM, Blogger collegeguyz said...

I truly believe you can love and be happy with many people in this world. I've had many ex-girlfriends that I loved and could be happily married with, but I just didn't feel that they were "the one" that would truly make me the most happy.. I think people sometimes ruin good relationships because they are scared they will find someone 'perfect' for them later in life and at that point it will only cause problems.

I also feel people 'settle' because they are scared they won't ever find someone else that they love as much as the person they are currently with.. I remember years ago thinking I would never love someone as much as I had loved a former girlfriend of mine.. But you know what, you find others who you grow to love just as much..

The million dollar question always and always will be, "Is this the 'one' for me?"

At 8:33 AM, Blogger Kiki said...

Hate to tell you, but you can be "in love" many times. There's no way of stopping it from happening to let it only be one. You are still really young and I think your idea is sweet and all, just not realistic.

If you and Josh break up I guarantee you'll be in love again eventually.

Tell him how you feel. And if you're not ready to say it back then don't. Only you really know how you feel.

My little Jennas all grown up! :)


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