Crazy in Luv<3
I'm just going to get straight to the point...
Last night my boyfriend of 5 months said he was in love with me.
My views on being "in love"...
I only want to be in love once. I could LOVE hundreds of boys and men throughout my life but I only want to be "in love" just once. And be with that person for the rest of my life. All the stats on divorce and how many married men cheat and all that shit...it scares me! I dont want to be another statistic! I don't want to let myself fall in love easily because I dont want to cheat myself out of that feeling...knowing that your IN LOVE with the one and only person you want to be with forever. When I get married someday I want to marry the one and only man I've ever been IN LOVE with and be able to look him in his eyes and honestly say (*in my Kip voice) "I'm 110% sure your my soulmate." Don't get me wrong I love Josh (my bf) I really really do. But I'm scared to fall in love with him or admit if I am. I'm young and have all my life to fall in love. But what if its my time now? What if he is the man I want to marry? Ok girls, I know all of us do this when we date new guys, and dont even deny it because we all do it. We all picture what it would be like marrying the guy we're with. We think about walking down the aisle towards him and having kids and a house...we do it, don't lie to yourself! I've thought about marrying Josh and yes, in a few years if we're still together then we'll know its meant to be and i will marry him. But if we do that with all the guys we date, how do we know that the man we're going to marry is the one? What if we're close to finding the one but we picked the wrong one a little too soon? Does that mean that we're doomed with this person for the rest of our lives or until divorce is in the picture?
Things are really good with us and he's the only real relationship I've ever had. He treats me with respect and knows that I'm going to do my own thing every once in a while and I do the same for him. He goes out with his boys sometimes and sure I'm jealous and want to be with him, but thats normal. I just feel like sometimes I'm on my toes with him...its like I love him so much that I dont want to make him mad, so sometimes I wont tell him how I really feel to keep us out of a fight that I know will happen. Dont think that Im a people pleaser or anything, I just want to avoid a fight or arguement if I can. Don't get me wrong if he's doin something to piss me off I'll fuckin let him know it, but if its something stupid that will blow up for nothing, then of course i'm going to keep my mouth shut. Just think of it as I love him so much I overlook the bullshit that could keep us apart.
more later, <3jj